A Public Forum

Sometimes people just take this enlightenment thing too far. I'm pissed off cuz I just got through having a conversation with someone who, in his pursuit of knowledge, began to essentially slap God in the face. Y'all already know that stupid and illogical people make me angry, but he literally made me sick to my stomach. I'm talking straight up blasphemy. Here are a few of his stupid comments:

-I'm supposed to worship a being that might love me today and tomorrow smite me?

-But if God does the same things I do - get angry, vengeful, & jealous - then I can't see the use in worshipping Him. It'd be like saying I need to worship the president because he can nuke me. George W. does things that are worthy of praise, and he has the power to destroy me. SO what's the difference?

-What does God does that is so worthy or praise that is not negated by His tolerance of widespread cruelty & suffering?

-How dare God expect my devotion when He seems to have trouble keeping up His Covenent w/ much of humanity?

-It is most difficult for a loving, benevolent God to be the same being as a jealous, vengeful God.


 
OH, pissed to the highest heights of piss-tivity I am! He said other stupid things that I don't have the energy to explain right now, but if you ever wanna see the convo, I'll show it to you. Please believe I saved it... I mean, the nerve. I'm all for education and asking questions, but sometimes people just get way out of hand and think they can bring God down to their level at their will. And if you are reading this and think that you can... you can't! God is not at your beck and call and come to think of it, JESUS IS NOT YOUR HOMEBOY!!! Maybe I'm just crazy, but the man who was the Son of God, who died for my sins ultimately deserves much more respect than to put on the same level as a "homeboy". Just because God made man in His image does not mean that God is made in your image. He is not like you and he deserves more respect and reverence than we give him today. Bibi was right; today's society has become too good at sinning. And don't think I'm on a soapbox... wait, no I am on a soapbox cuz i have a point to make, it's just that my soapbox isn't that high off the ground... I'm applying this to myself too, cuz I know I'm not perfect. I sin too. Everyday I sin, but I'm working on myself to make myself better. To make Quinnton more worthy of receiving the new chance that he gets on the daily, even though they wages is sin is death. Please get it together... and if i'm wrong, please let me know, cuz I'm more than willing to let anyone else know why God deserves our praise and worship rather than our criticism and the shaking of our flawed fists...

And yes, I had that conversation over a half an hour ago, and my heart is still beating fast.


*DONT BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS YOU... IT JUST MIGHT REACH OUT AND KNOCK YOU INTO THE FIERY PITS OF HELL... *(how's that for a Jonathan Edwards theology?)

Yeah, yeah, i know... it's been 10 months! Oh well, you'll get over it... I mean, please read my page again. I would start where I left off, but I don't think there's enough webspace for that. It was wierd cuz at first i didn't post cuz I was too busy, then I didn't post because nothing was happening to me. Is that the definition of irony, or do i just like using the phrase "definition of irony"? I know I always say it when I talk about the explosion in DeFuniak Springs, but who knows. Wait, if you went on Spring Tour, why wasn't my charade in DeFuniak considered a terrorist attack? Yeah right, I'm that desperate for attention... I was just wondering :: rolling eyes smiley::...

But anyway, most of you don't know what I'm talking about and oh well, cuz i don't feel like explaining it all... (some of it, I'm not at liberty to)... nonetheless, that doesn't mean that you can't catch up on the many things that have been going through my mind since September of '03. What fun, right?!?!?

I have an audition with a record company in a few days and it's really wierd. I'm nervous because I haven't really sung this type of music in so long and also because I've started on a serious track into the business world and what if this picks up? I think I was so fired up about a record deal in high school, because it wouldn't interrupt much, but now, it's a hella hard decision to make between a full scholarship to the premier black institution in the world and taking the once in a lifetime opportunity of becoming a recording artist. Then along with it comes the apprehension of what level of stardom I'll reach. Are we talking Devon the Dude, Devon Edmonds, or Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds? See? Some of you don't even know who the first two are, and that's what bothers me. Wait, let's go back to the first part of this paragraph. Ok, Bibi referred this record company to me and they set up an audition for this Saturday at 10:00. I think it's gonna be interesting because I don't think the woman really knew who she was talking to. I mean, I don't mean to be big-headed, but she was talking to me like I was any old run-of-the-mill singer, and I'm so not. She told me, after hearing me sing, that she could tell that I don't drink enough water everyday ( which was trash) and that I needed to be taught how to breathe ( which was trash with a side of compost... a little dollop of manure on top) First of all, I have been singing ever since I can remember. Granted my family didn't know until i was 15, but in all that time, no one has ever told me that I didn't drink enough water; I have worked with the likes of Lydia Alston, Anthony Glover, and Dr. David E. Morrow, and none of them have ever told me anything about the amount of water I drink. Ms. " Fake -Musician -Lady", I'm a bass and my voice in naturally gravelly... get over it. And the whole thing about breathing... please. If there is one thing that they get on us for in Glee Club rehearsal, it's breathing, so just stop your trash and lies right now. Then she handed me some line about how I have "some potential". Then later, when I called her and told her that it was difficult to pick a song because my vocal range lies so much lower than the average R&B singer's today, she spat out that " I hadn't challenged my voice in that way, so I didn't know what I could do with it". That kinda made me mad; who are you to tell me wat my voice can do? How long have you been singing? Oh my bad, you haven't... you just set up the appointments. Get real. Maybe it's not ludicrous to you but the laughter that she mistook for being happy that someone liked my voice was really outbursts of " Is she serious?". Anyway, whereas Solo asked her numerous questions to let her know that he knew what was up, I'll continue to play dumb, and later on, as my people would say, "shock they drawz". It'll be fun.

    What else? Oh yeah, money is hard to come by. I thought that being smart, diligent, charasmatic, and qualified was enough to get a job, but I guess not. There must be some secret that I don't know about that everybody and their mama knows about when it comes to getting a job, cuz I've only been on one assignment this entire summer for two days and the rest of my time has been spent basically being pissed that I had nothing to do. Now dont get me wrong, I welcome rest, and no I haven't really been brooding for the past 2 months, but this sucks. I'm so used to doing something that doing nothing makes me nervous. I'm already neurotic ( an explanation for another day)and this whole waking-up-to-an-empty-day-after-staying-up-all-night routine is making my nerves even worse. They're not lying when they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, cuz ATL likes My-T- Fyne right about now. Atleast when I'm there I have an excuse for not having a job. Here it's just pathetic.
OK, i won't bore you with too much more now, but stop back by later... I've touched on only a handful of the couple of hundred days that this site has missed. Have a day.

* I FOUND A REASON FOR ME... TO CHANGE WHO I USED TO BE.. A REASON TO START OVER NEW... AND THE REASON IS YOU*

I know we've already touched on the whole Pride issue, but I think it's about time that it were revisited. I've already said in an earlier blog that I have a vice in Pride, but it is bit by bit leaving me. Very recently, people have irked the frick out of me by bragging all the time. There are two people in particular, whose names of course I will not mention. Everytime I talk to these people they find some way to conspicuously praise themselves. Whether it's clothes, money, intelligence, talent, or just something as simple as slang, these people compliment themselves so much, others never get a chance to. I mean, of course your clothes look nice, but they must not look as good as you think they do if you have to point it out. Yes, you're smart. You did a lot of things in high school, but so did everyone else. That's why we're here. So what if you're on a scholarship. Take a survey, son; most of the people that you talk to on a daily basis are as well. Please, get over yourselves.

Seriously, to those of you reading this, am I like that? I'd like to think that if I were that type of person you would tell me, cuz these two sometimes make me wanna vomit.

* WITH YOUR NOSE IN THE AIR, YOU CAN'T SEE WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND YOU; SOMEONE WILL KNOCK YOU OFF THAT PEDESTAL*

Ya know, I said I could not wait to get out of my senior year and that I would never look back on it. However ( oh don't act surprised; you knew it was coming) I do, most recently find myself looking back on those days and even kinda flashing back to the same feelings and sensations I had then. Now don't confuse missing something with longing for it, because I'd never trade those days for these. But it's weird how I can think of "I Care For You" and suddenly be in the driver's seat of that to' up Red Pontiac Sunbird Convertible with Trenda on the right, Steff and Essence in the back, and the scent of Wendy's 99cent menu wafting in the air. It was hot cuz I didn't have AC. or if it was raining, wet cuz my window wouldn't go up. Cramped cuz u can't really fit 4 & their belongings in that car. Miserable cuz I was in dress clothes and didn't really wanna go to work. The best time of my life huh? Oh it gets better.

The car just flat out didn't work. In fact, it was only by the grace of God that I made it to school, work and back home everyday. The ailments of my vehicle are as follows:
- Would overheat and fail to start capriciously
- Driver's side window would not go up
- Convertible top had to be let down manually
- Passenger side door sometimes would not open
- Back "window" was so clouded, it was opaque instead of translucent.
- Would not accelerate nor brake immediately
- Would sometimes cut off if I accelerated too quickly
- Had no panel beneath the steering column
- Could shift gears without the button on the gearshift itself being pressed

But this, too, is only the beginning. I have endless stories about the stress this car caused me. Nonetheless, I thank God for it and the times my friends and I had in it. ( We looked too fly with the top down, in Orange Oakleys at the Battle of the Bands)

It's crazy how someone can change in just 3 weeks. It was ages ago that I tried to direct that choir... that I counted thousands of dollars a day... that I would dress up every single day... Who was that guy?

*YESTERDAY... ALL MY TROUBLES SEEM SO FAR AWAY*

I need to start getting more sleep. I've been going to sleep at 1:30 at the earliest every night and getting up for 9:00 classes. Granted some of you may think this is no large feat, but this is coming from a man who voluntarily went to bed at 10:00 junior year so that he would be at his best. This is not so to date. I have not gotten a good night's sleep pretty much since I got here, not because I'm that distraught, but because I'm having such a good time. ( I'd take the latter over the former any day). But that's not the most important thing that's going on right now.

THE MOREHOUSE COLLEGE GLEE CLUB PUTS IT DOWN! We sing at the Opening Convocation this Thursday, and could I be any more excited? No dice. I'm stoked...hyped... riding the bull, even? We're singing this song called Witness that is really easy, cuz being a bass, I sing the same note for almost the entire piece. Extreme niceness with a side of "YES!" Even though it's a choral piece, I'll out on a limb here and say it gets kinda krunk at the end. Q is really into it. Plus, the harmonies are incredibly tight. Not just tite, but tight as well. You've gotta hear it. Hopefully the sound bytes will be up on the site pretty soon.

OMG!!! I almost forgot! Guess who I met this past weekend... no... not her... him either... you give up? RUBEN FRICKIN' STIZZ-NUDDARD! We were in Birmingham on an Honors Program Retreat, and at the whim of Arjuna, we decided to go chill on the 17th floor ( The Penthouse). We had been there for like 10 minutes when this guy comes walking out of a door all the way at the other end of the hotel. Alex was all "It would be tite if that was Ruben, " and I was all "Whateva!" and he was all" nuh-uh!" and I was all "Trick biz-nia-zizatch!"... OK I made the last 3 up but Alex really did say the first one. Another guy had walked out of the room a minute before him and we were talking to him right by the elevators, and as the other guy got closer I realized that it was indeed Ruben. When he got on the elevator, Arjuna when up and asked " Excuse me, are you famous?" Upon his nod, his manager, the guy we had been talking to, said "Yeah, he's Ruben" So, Arjuna, very non-chalantly said " Oh ok, nice to meet you"... Upon the close of the elevator, all hell broke loose!. The 17 some odd floors of the Sheraton could not contain the jumps and hollers of "THAT WAS RUBEN!!!" We pressed the button to take the elevator down to the lobby and in our frenzied state, began to look for the stairs. Upon their discovery, Marcus, Alex, June and I proceeded to leap down 17 flights of stairs to get to the lobby. When we got downstairs he was still waiting in front of the hotel. Marcus and I were gonna break him off a harmonized chord or two, but I didn't think that would be appropriate. In the end, we shook his hand and he drove away on his shuttle of sorts. It's kinda ludicrous when you think about it though; I know he thought we were asses for coming all the way downstairs to say something to him instead of just speaking on the 17th, but ah well... I attribute it to the caprices of the human soul.

Other things to remember about the HP retreat:
- Igor
- Singing over the balcony
- Something fishy goin on on the bed, in the air, and in the window
- the sermon
- speech lessons
- more mashed potatoes?
...
tiempos buenos

*I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU AFTER THE SECOND SHOW; DON'T YOU REMEMBER YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME BABY*

You know what's extra weak? When someone leaves a post totally incomplete and then doesn't post again for like 2 months! Wait that would be me. I admit, I was terribly lazy, but the comp at my parent's house is so slow, I just didnt have the patience to deal. HOWEVER, I AM NOW IN ATLANTA WITH MY OWN COMPUTER THAT I BOUGHT WITH MY OWN MONEY AND BLAZIN THE ALREADY HOT STREETS OF ATLANTA AS A TOP NOTCH MAN OF MOREHOUSE!! Can you tell that I am excited? (Actually, my parents are bringing my computer and stuff this weekend, but that is beside the point.) The atmosphere here is just off the hook. Never in my life have I seen so many intellectual black people in one place and it makes me want to jump for joy every minute of the day <--- Hyperbole. But really, I don't think I could have made a better choice for myself as far as college. Tha House may not have a 5-year PPA Program, but it does have my heart already, and that is no comparison. Thus, I will attempt to delineate my experiences thus far.

THE BUS RIDE:
Being the the pseudo-patient person, I decided to take the Greyhound to Atlanta from Houston, not to mention the fact that I am shaken by planes ( long story... another post perhaps?). 16 hours may sound a few ppl's course loads, but it was the duration of the hell that they call a busride. Most ppl at Morehouse had their parents stay until Thurday night, at which time there was a Parents' Parting Ceremony. Mine, however, dropped me off at Bus Terminal 9 with four articles of luggage at 1:00 Monday in Houston. Don't let the plush coach buses you've ridden on in the past fool you. This bus had seats that were too small in everyway imaginable, not to mention the fact that the same people who ride Houston's METRO ride Greyhound buses... just imagine spending almost an entire day with them. I sat next to a girl, who couldn't get all of her belongings together, and then an old lady who kept falling on me when she was asleep. I slept, or attempted to sleep, in so many uncomfortable positions, I'm suprised I'm still alive. My tailbone, along with every other bone in my body, ached from sitting for so long. Then, the bus driver, with his okie doke lookin ass tried to get an attitude. This is just the beginning, I promise I won't mention the 5 layovers in cities throughtout Louisiana and Alabama.

CHECK-IN:
Somehow, I was supposed to get a huge trunk, a duffel bag that was just as big as said trunk, a messenger bag, and another suitcase from the bus station to my college, which I had no idea where it was. I took a cab to Spelman only to realize that I would have to lug the 4 bags another mile or so up a hill to my dorm. (The hills of GA ain't no joke. I get winded just walkin to my room). I finally get settled into my room and everything is pretty much chill, but do to incredible bureaucracy, I am still waiting on a voucher for my books when I was supposed to have $6500 in extra scholarships at the school. Where is the rest of my money? Oh yeah, and I'm going to leave out the part about how I got a 5 on my AP Calc test but still had to trek all over this hilly campus to get various signatures just to get 3 semester hrs.

PEEPS:
It's a real family atmosphere around here. I can't count the times someone has called me "Brother". For the most part, people are really cool and friendly. But then there are those who are frauds, and I spotted a few of those early on. I'm currently contemplating the fact that an entire clique is hating, but I need further info. I mean, it's no coincidence that some ppl that I was cool with during the first week are roommates and chill with those that prob'ly don't like me, suddenly won't speak to me. I found my place tho, and I'm meeting like mad fam everyday.

SINGING:
I made the audition for the premier group of the college, the Morehouse College Glee Club. I am used to singing Tenor, but because I was hoarse at the audition, the director put me in the Bass section. He said that I was tearing up my voice singing Tenor, and that I should never do it again. However, my throat was hurting after hitting a few low E notes. I don't read music like the majority of the members, but that just makes it all the more challenging, thus interesting. I wowed a few of the old members today when I was spontaneously called up to sing in a small ensemble of a song that I had barely had time to learn. DON'T THEY KNOW I WILL BREAK THEM OFF!? But anyway, I'm really excited cuz I haven't really sung in a long time, and I can't wait to get back on stage. Oh yeah, and they do a lot of travelling, but the group is like 100 ppl and sometimes they only take as few as 40 people. I'm tryin my hardest cuz I really don't wanna have to wait until next year to go somewhere. Hope for a little "Spring Tour"-age on my part.

That's just the tip of the iceberg, but from now on I should be posting more often. I would also like to send out a formal apology to Yams and Jenn, who are so faithful in posting their blogs, and were loyal readers of mine.

*TASTE MY ICE CREAM*

I know it's been a while, but let's dive right in... I have finally reached that so desired level of randomnity that I have been searching for all along. Why am I sitting in Kinko's at 11: 56 typing up a resume, when I have to go to work for 7:45 a.m. It's exciting, I know. OH, and I have never in my life seen such extortion. I remember when I had to try to use their computers for a project in Mr. Griffith's class, and the price was like 20 cents a minute and now we're up to 30? WTF? I know their computers don't cost that much. I mean, come on, they couldn't even opt for the Pentium 4... they had to go Pentium 3? Also, as I type this, the ExpressPay i devouring my bank account because I was silly enough to let it have my card. How's that for a good banker? I said all that to say nothing, but since I mentioned going to work in the morning, let's revisit that.

As some of you may very well know, I worked at Washington Mutual during the school year and was let go at the end of May because my internship was up... supposedly. I really knew at the time that I was allowed to work until the end of the month at which I had started, which would be June. But I didn't say anything. I just left, cuz I was sick of dealing with those childish customers anyway. ( tell me how u can be like 45 yrs old and sit in a bank a throw a tantrum cuz I won't give u money from ur account without ID... DUMASES!) But anyway, I was chillin at home, playin Pikmin, ( one of the most addictive games ever!) for like 2 weeks when my supervisor called me and asked if I wanted to come back to work and get some more hours. She said she had just found out that she could have kept me, but I knew differently. She wanted to get me out as soon as possible so that she could hire and train someone else in my place. But here's the clincher... SHE COULDN'T FIND ANYONE TO REPLACE OLE Q DAWG! So there she was, after being short-handed with a full 7-teller staff, and down to a 5-teller staff because I had been dismissed and Chris was on the Black College Tour ( which visited my new alm